Yes, this is a new perspective.
ok i think i will reveal my past in this screwed human history for the time being
i grew up in a wonderful family with great parents whom i idolize and lean on.
Somehow in my childhood years many factors and incidents left a trauma, a scar on me, psychologically. Maybe all that contributed to the introverted nature of mine.
i love my family, they are the ones who are there to show you care and concern, get you the newest and some nicest go-to-hell phones on the market, clear the mess that you've made, buy you some of the most delicious chicken rice for dinner. Good parenting play an important role in the process of growing up. i mean seriously, traumas and scars made in childhood times are the most difficult to erase, and they are usually your achilles heel.
i had many thoughts today, i wandered deep into the new world of mine.
there's always one principle that should be abided by everyone, that is, never provoke the snake if it doesnt cause you harm. that applies the same for humans.
today was lonely +bad hair day. i wander why Ms Ho keep kping me for hair
i mean, im not a gangster, i know the limits, im not a bad boy.
you cant knock over somebody just because you are at the wheel
maybe its because by random, or coincidentally, there is 2 prcs who's botak, and mark and hongwen who shave. the comparison is just there, you cant not see it
My mummy told me not to bear grudges with teachers or what cause ultimately their doings are for your own good. im not bearing grudges with anyone. Mum says that im a good boy that listens to the teacher.
im not listening, i do what the teacher says not because im scared of them,
but because i show them respect.
respect is earned not given.
trust is all that builds bonds between humans, but im doubting my trust
The second perspective that i lived by today was, loneliness.
yeah lonely.
Maybe because of my introverted nature im lonely
but in a class full of muggers and boredom it make the situation a lot worse, and im serious.
whenever im in class rotting to death and see 3c ppl (20+boys) playing block catching or what, i will get damn jealous.
when i told my mum, she say just do your work and study in school , things will turn for the better. i mean, i cant do this, it is just a big no for me.
i want the atmosphere, the bond in the class
that is why i make it a point to play soccer with yusiang and timo's gang every friday; thats why i joined jj's band. Because somehow, i hope this can make up for my loneliness.
in school already the situation is bad, but it doesnt seem to get better at home.
Weekends are taken up by my sis who has piano ballet swimming table tennis lessons etc.
90% of weekend time im alone at home.
ok you may think that im so no life why dont find someone to mug
i did, just so coincidentally again, my cool gang of friends like to study at home (i bet timo wc watching nice stuff at home)
and yes, i mean watching NBA.
if someone can put yourself in my shoes, you will understand.
For this first 4 months into school, im not happy at all, ok maybe only when playing bball or soccer with the gang.
introvert+lonely, thats really a bad place to be in i mean seriously!
thats when i showed care and concern to the others, hoping that it will make up for all this.
somethings i won't say it out, i won't express it, but i will remember it forever
this is my belief...my curse that can never be lifted.




note: this is not an emo post, just A New Perspective.

Labels: A New Perspective

7:04 AM
Up, up, and away!

Sunday, April 12, 2009